Picture this if you will: ancient Egypt, where the sands of the hourglass slip slowly away. Amongst hieroglyphs and pyramids stands the true star of tonight’s historical narrative, Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last pharaoh of Egypt. To many, she was a kitsch costume at a fancy dress party, but to me, and soon to you, she’s a symbol of power wielded with finesse, charm, and oodles of political savvy.
Now, let’s hurl Cleopatra forward into a speculative splendour, where hashtags replace hieroglyphs and selfies have supplanted portraiture. Enter the world where social media reigns supreme, where a pharaoh can rise or fall at the click of a ‘like.’ Oh, dear reader, take my hand and let us embark on this whimsical journey where the Nile flows not with water but with WiFi.
Building The Brand: #CleoRules
It’s the year 2023, and Cleopatra has not only been resurrected but rebranded. The avatar of Nile’s lingual lasso is now @TheRealCleo on Twitter, or should we say, X for the trendy tweeters among you. Her social media presence must be all things: alluring, authoritative, and slightly addictive, as mesmerizing as the asp that bemoans her tragic end. Her bio now reads: “Queen of Egypt. Last of the Ptolemies. Ancient beauty. Modern icon.”
Cleopatra’s adeptness at charm would surely translate into a magnetic online presence. Consider, if you will, Instagram, where she shares ancient-world charm hints with a hint of modern sass. Hashtags run riot: #NefertitiAintGotNothin, #NileStyle, and, of course, #CleoRules. Selfies with feline companions (as cats are as much an Egyptian symbol as her eyeliner) spark immediate likes. Posts of pyramids bathed in the lilac of dusk become timeless backdrops.
But it’s not all glamour shots and promotional content. Cleopatra knows how to wield power as effectively online as she did in real life, with grace and strategy. She shares posts on Egypt’s cultural heritage, invoking solidarity amongst her followers. Comments discussing potential trade deals with Rome pop up beneath posts that blend ancient artifacts with emojis, a scroll and a Trojan horse punctuated with a pharaoh’s crown. Virality, much like Egypt’s rich black soil, is fertile ground for Cleopatra to grow her influence.
When Memes Meet Politics: The Tweet of De Nile
Cleopatra’s dominance wasn’t exclusively about beauty, she was a shrewd strategist. With social media, she had a new platform to leverage political dynamics. The direct messages she could send to Mark Antony, one imagines, beyond their love letters: “Can we take this convo off-platform? #ROMANTexecTalk.” The memes she might create about potential invasions by Octavian, rife with perhaps a duck face and wry caption: “I’m not fuming, I’m pharaohed up.”
There’s a deft skill at play here, capturing the attention of her subjects and the curiosity of world leaders. Featured hashtags craft international attention: #AlexandriaAwaits might inform policy as her Nile-networking becomes the talk of the Mediterranean.
Who would stand against her when faced with trending challenges like #PharaohsFlashmob? (Imagine the Ptolemaic court performing synchronised dances to the historic heartbeats sent through TikToks.) Opposition from Rome would struggle against the visual blast of Egyptian dancers with Cleopatra smiling conspiratorially in the background.
Engagement Fit For A Queen
Let us not forget our dear Cleopatra’s engagement tactics, engage with her, and you're in the SimCity of her royal heart. Her plan involves the multi-step mastery of appealing to both local and foreign followers, exploiting Instagram’s algorithm with posts that connect to all; like images of herself basking under the sun, her hand generously cradling one of her famous Julius Caesar salads, "Eat like a Queen without a Ceas-ure!", while easily swapping to serious notes of political advocacy.
And results? They’re immediate. Cleopatra starts trending when she initiates a campaign with the ironically dry humour typical of her repertoire: “Should female Pharaohs get more crowns? Vote now!” Through stories and reels, she conducts polls, responds to comments, and challenges historical norms.
Conclusion: A Fittin’ Farewell
Perhaps social media would have given Cleopatra the visibility she needed to cement her role in history even further, with her successes digitally archived for all eternity, even if eternity is now measured in milliseconds of internet fame. An empire built on hashtags where Cleopatra doesn’t merely live on through history textbooks but thrives across algorithms as a digital deity.
Cleopatra with a smartphone navigates a dance of diplomacy and digital marketing, epitomising the power and charisma of historical Egypt armed with the tools of our age. Time Warp Terry signing off, but let’s not totally close the book on this infinitely delightful ‘what if’, a tale spreading as far as WiFi can carry our imaginations.
