Ah, Cleopatra VII. The enchanting Queen of the Nile, sealed in history rolls with a dash of mystique and a whole heaping of allure. We've seen her depicted as fierce, intelligent, and oh-so-charming. But what if, instead of relying on scrolls and sealing in wax, our Egyptian queen had wielded the sleek magic of Instagram? What tantalising tales would her pixels have painted across our screens?
The Ultimate Royal Influencer
In our alternate universe, Cleopatra’s Instagram feed would be an opulent tapestry adorned with strategic selfies and captivating stories that would make even the most prolific influencers pack up their tripods. Imagine if you will, her profile: @CleoOfTheNile, with a bio reading "Queen 👑 | Master of Coin & Charm | Fashion Pharaoh | Equal Parts Beauty & Power". A jest, perhaps? Yet, more likely her brand strategy!
Her announcements and proclamations would land in the digital realm with a pomp akin to a royal edict, albeit accompanied by the hashtag #QueenThings. This was a woman who commandeered the allegiance of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, not merely through looks, but with political savviness and dynamism that would make today’s publicists swoon.
Selfies with a Side of Nile
While some might insist that Cleopatra’s charm is best reserved for stories passed down, one cannot deny the lure of a Nile sunset captured in all its grandeur, with Cleopatra lounging on a jewel-encrusted barge, #CasualCruise. Her selfies wouldn’t need filters. Cleopatra’s knack for capturing the essence of beauty in its most dazzling form would make any Valencia or Juno bow down.
Perhaps we’d find her posting on #TransformationTuesday, one image from her upbringing, hand-in-hand with her Greek tutor, then an ensuing image of her now, regal and poised. Slide to watch her evolution, visually chronicled alongside Egyptian hieroglyphs explaining each meteoric stage.
Fashion Pharaoh: Behind the Filtered Lens
Step aside, fashion weeks of Milan and Paris; Cleopatra’s outfits would leave a trail of shell-shocked designers, monuments to style. Upon her feed, layers of linen blend seamlessly with precious jewellery, rivalled in ethereal majesty only by pyramids. Holding court over comments would be people exclaiming, "Who are you wearing?" and Cleo responding with cheeky missives, "Oh, just my royal artisans, no biggie! #RegallyDressed".
Have you seen @CleoOfTheNile's feed yet? She just likes things stupendously stunning. But perhaps her true influence lies in a well-timed story; a ‘behind-the-scenes’ look at her morning preparations, the Life of a Queen, punctuated by essential oils and spa selfies, a day under Cleopatra care resplendently captured.
Political Strategies via DMs
Now, we must address the royal elephant in the room: Cleopatra’s political acumen. How exactly would it stand in a world of pixels and indirect messages? Oh, but this is where our Queen excels. The quintessential politician. Her posts would undoubtedly offer glimpses into the softer side of her reign, but the true power intrigues would play out in the shadows of Direct Messages.
Sly negotiations with Roman leaders could easily begin with a diplomatic emoji exchange. After all, a well-placed 👀 can be quite disarming when engaging in cross-meditative negotiations. We all know how challenging securing those alliance hashtags can be.
Ancient History, Insta Glory
A picture is worth a thousand words, they say, and Cleopatra was as strategic with visuals as she was with verses. Her kingdom’s grand reveal might have been accompanied by a perfectly filtered photo shoot in Alexandria, showcasing architecture so advanced in its grace and beauty, pharaohs of lore would have clamoured to capture hearts on ©Instagram too.
She would extend invites to the common folk, “Swipe up for Pyramid tours! #ExploreEgypt”. Meanwhile, her IG lives would be cultural features often interrupted by Domitian making live cameo appearances, to the delight of both peasants and nobles alike. Who wouldn't be glued to their lotus-seed couches for that? It's #RoyalTea at its finest, after all.
Legacy in Liking
Much like her historical presence, Cleopatra’s influence on social media would transcend aesthetic fulfilment. She would bring nuance to the capabilities of platforms that, at first glance, seem shallow. Using Instagram as her papyrus, her legacy would offer inspiration and empowerment, living forever as the original influencer who might have had a true knack for filters, but knew, ultimately, how to filter through to the core of human nature.
As you double-tap your own pictures today, just imagine for a second: had Cleopatra had her say with a smartphone in hand, the annals of history might quite amusingly list her as a digital millennial ahead of her time. Perhaps, just perhaps, she could have popularised the classic Insta caption, "👑 Egyptian Queen, Living my best life in BC! 💫" Long live the legacy of @CleoOfTheNile!
