How the Boston Tea Party could have brewed differently with Instagram

How the Boston Tea Party could have brewed differently with Instagram

Written by Terry Lawson on February 8, 2025 at 3:46 PM

Ah, the Boston Tea Party, that tempestuous teapot in 1773 that brewed a revolution! Picture this, dear reader: it’s December 16, 1773, and rather than furtively scheming under the cloak of night, our American colonists are armed with the ultimate rallying tool – Instagram. Oh yes, the humble app of filtered phantasms and seemingly endless scrolling! Imagine how all those digital filters and renditions of the perfect cup of chamomile could have revolutionised this historical protest. Grab a cuppa, and let’s Instagram our way through a time warp.

Revolutionary Reels

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then an Instagram reel harnesses the power of storytelling! Imagine Samuel Adams (no, not the beer, although I can’t blame you for that knee-jerk) harnessing Instagram Reels to ignite the revolutionary spirit. Our modern-day equivalent of revolutionary pamphlets becomes short, snappy reels dripping with call-to-action captions: “Down with taxation! Filter free, sugar not included!”

Sam and his band of merry rebels, the Sons of Liberty, would become the influencer posse we never knew we needed. Hashtags like #SpillTheTea and #LibertyBrew would most certainly trend on Boston’s social media websphere. Gatherings to plan the tea dumping would naturally come with tagged locations boasting “Boston Harbour,” with geotags from ne'er-do-wells sporting handlebar moustaches and mysteriously provided tomahawks as accessories.

Caught in the (Social) Net

As the tea lurched overboard, anticipation and ‘likes’ alike would rise in tandem to each crate’s descent into Boston’s frothy waters. Void of a smartphone, one imagines John Hancock furiously signing his way into an iconic ‘live now’ feed, documenting the tea party finale with unparalleled flourish. Meanwhile, Paul Revere, known as much for his craftsmanship as his iconic midnight ride, would likely curate an artisan assembly of lo-fi coffee-style shots capturing various angles of the splash heard 'round the colonies.

Here, we must pause to consider - what of the British? Oh, they’d have a thorough field day in leveraging CCTV cameras, only wishing they had Instagram’s algorithmic wonders to surveil the colonies more astutely. Upon this turn of events, perhaps a bellow and cry from both sides would echo one common grievance: too much advertisement, not enough likes.

Tales of Influenced Infamy

But hark! Who could forget our razzle-dazzles? From the red-coat “Lobsterbacks” desperately attempting to monitor the colonial rebels through their poorly lit candlelit settings on Stories to King George himself engaging with the queen’s favourite portraits, “vanitygrams” could replace tyranny with a touch of fanciful powder on their well-coifed wigs.

Undoubtedly, the spilling of the tea would make for the prime content sensation of the decade (if not for eternity). Consider influencers reviewing the British East India Company’s finest flavours on YouTube, swiftly abating tensions through neutral testimonials about why throwing them into the harbour wasn’t just a statement – it was the first documented food trend fail! Imagine people from the future rewinding history to learn from this viral phenomenon.

Equal Rights and Filtered Fights

Amidst this steamy scandal, the role of women in the revolution takes on a whole new cusp of commentary. Perhaps Abigail Adams would’ve hosted online discussion forums, or ‘Insta-Live’ equivalents, deftly interlaced with snippets of fermented politics and domestic tales. Enterprising colonist families might appeal to followers with accounts like @ThriftyPatriot or @Needlemaster23 – both dutifully showcasing DIY content on how best to spin boycotts into trending textiles.

Fast-forward to the aftermath, and the brewing rebellion stands proud, grainy photos saturated with history's nostalgia. Could Instagram have expedited the progression of colonial empowerment? Might it have brought young minds to the forefront with platforms to rally, educate, and inspire with unparalleled reach?

Conclusion: Smiling for the MIL-TEA #Throwback

In the end, an intriguing quandary remains boiling hot – would the Boston Tea Party stand as a digital meme ride, a colonial clash of emojis, or perhaps an inspiration for future generations armed with smartphones instead of swords? While modern technology allows us to peek across time’s curtains, one thing remains steadfast – humanity, in its quest for freedom, remains as perennially steeped in courage as that fateful brew once was.

Terry Lawson
Terry Lawson
Terry is a curious and imaginative writer with a passion for both history and technology. With a flair for humor, wit, and detailed storytelling, Terry paints vivid pictures of how historical figures and events might have unfolded differently if they had access to modern technology.