Picture this: the year is 30 BC, the exotic backdrop of ancient Egypt stretches out before us, and Cleopatra, the last Pharaoh of Egypt, has just downloaded Instagram onto her iPapyrus – the latest must-have alphanumeric gadget with a HieroglyphsKeyBoard™ and built-in carrier pigeon network. But what if Cleopatra, celebrated for her legendary beauty, intellect, and diplomatic prowess, had access to this modern marvel? Would it have helped her fend off Roman invaders, or painted the Nile with more double taps than grains of sand in the Saharan Desert?
The Cleopatra Chronicles: From the Nile to Your Feed
Let us dive headfirst into the blue waters of the Nile, and imagine Cleopatra as a social media sensation. Perhaps her handle would be @QueenOfTheNile, with a bio that reads, "Ruler of Egypt, Temptress of Caesar and Antony, Cat Mom." With hashtags like #AspChic and #RoyalVibes, Cleopatra would have rapidly ascended to influencer status.
But what would her content be like? Imagine Cleopatra's immaculate eyeliner skills paired with those famously glamorous Egyptian robes in perfectly curated Instagram posts. Tutorials on #CatEyedEyeliner would have gone viral, with style guides for achieving mid-century BC chic.
"New accessories from Marc Antony!" she might have posted in a Story, showing off a splendid ring once belonging to a Roman senator, while her feline companion Cleopatra-Cat omnipresently purrs in the background.
Hashtags, Reels, and the Roman Empire
Enough of the glamour, how about strategic negotiations? Cleopatra competing in the IG battlefield, mastering the art of alliances through strategic use of filters and DMs. "#LoveOverWar," she might declare, tagging both @JuliusC and @AntonyInEgypt against a backdrop of pyramids.
Don't forget the Reels, 40-second snippets showcasing galas on the Nile, complete with dancers and fire breathers, intercut with political satire skits – "Marc Antony can't find his toga!". Her quick wit would leave Cleopatra's followers guessing what was fact and what was fiction.
With the power of viral content, Cleopatra could have effectively gathered allies, her posts stirring the public against Octavian’s propaganda, gaining support across the Mediterranean with reposts from her loyal followers.”
Instagram Influence: Greater Than Auld Nile?
Considering Cleopatra's renowned charisma and intelligence, it’s easy to imagine her wielding Instagram like a sceptre, but would it alter the course of history? Could she single-handedly 'break the internet' and, more importantly, outmanoeuvre Octavian with the power of likes and follows?
Honestly, it’s all a bit tricky. Giving Cleopatra a platform, and an audience that spans continents, could indeed amplify her influence but could also make her a target of Roman ‘cancel culture’, led by that party-pooping windbag of a politician, Octavian.
A Hashtag Legacy
Surely, history would have been none the weirder for it. Cleopatra’s Instagram legacy would live on in posts long after the accounts faded into hieroglyphic mystery. Perhaps a stray stone tablet, a Rosetta Stone of hashtags, could surface millennia from now, depicting legendary stories like #PtolemaicQueen coming to life under the Mediterranean sun.
And in the aftermath of hypothetical hashtag-battles and cleverly captioned selfies, one thing is as certain as the waxing and waning of the mighty Nile: Cleopatra would have undoubtedly been the ultimate queen of all things #InstaFamous.
