Ah, Cleopatra. The Queen of the Nile, the Master of the Pyramid Selfie, the Wind Beneath Marc Antony's Wings – and if she had been around today, quite possibly the Queen of the Instagram Feed. Let's set the historical time machine to "imaginatively absurd" and dive into a world where Cleopatra is not just ruling Egypt, but also conquering the world of hashtags and influencers.
A Queen with a Profile Page
First off, Cleopatra would have had an Instagram bio to die for. Something like: "🌹 Last Pharaoh of Egypt ☥ Enigmatic Charmer 🦂 Lover of Art and Science 💋 Biography in Emoji 💗." She'd probably be the kind of user who knows the importance of having a cohesive feed aesthetic – heavy on the gold and turquoise, opulence is timeless after all. And don't forget the signature cat-eye eyeliner; she'd invent the hashtag #CleopatrasLiner and it would trend internationally.
Engagement Fit for a Queen
Cleopatra could have used Instagram Stories with strategic insight worthy of a PhD in Ancient Egyptian Studies. She wouldn’t just post alluring selfies, but also behind-the-scenes glimpses of ancient world politics – "Casual chats with Caesar 🔥" and "Lunch at the lighthouse of Alexandria 🥗🍷." She’d employ Stories' Q&A feature for direct communication with her 1 million followers – "Ask me anything about ruling or beauty! Headed to the Nile for some #SelfCare."
Influencing Antiquity
Let us not forget the power of Cleopatra as a brand influencer. She’d collaborate with pyramids, sphinxes, and ancient marketplaces. Imagine product placements like: "Thanks to Myntra Egypt for this Nile Green linen wrap, perfect for desert summer lounging!” Perhaps she'd even have her own line with Sephora – "The Cleo Collection: Make 'em swoon with just a smize!"
Relationship Status: It’s Complicated
Cleopatra's love life would certainly keep the app's "Explore" page buzzing. Her tumultuous relationships with Julius Caesar and Marc Antony would translate perfectly into carefully curated relationship goals posts. Think "Our love spans continents and rival empires 🌍 #JoanOfArcWho?" followed by a boomerang of a playful crown exchange during an ancient banquet.
Hashtag Wisdom of the Ages
Who would have posted quotes over scenic images better than Cleopatra herself? She’d package her historic wisdom in aesthetically pleasing fonts across sunset backdrops of the Nile. Imagine seeing on your feed: "When the winds of change blow, some build walls, while others build pyramids. #QueenWisdom"
Rewriting Scenario with Stories
Instagram's Story Highlights could have immortalised pivotal events with titles like "Battle Plans," "Roman Romance," and "@theSphinx Photobomb LOL". Her stories wouldn’t just entertain but educate her followers on everything from alliances to Alexandria’s newest hieroglyphs.
Spoiler Alert: The "Unboxing" of the Asp
Of course, it wouldn’t be a full account without addressing the end. Cleopatra might have turned her own tragic demise into one final, cryptically beautiful story entitled "Dark Beauty." Picture an IGTV that signs off with "Farewell, friends. I'm off to meet the great Insta-gods." The very peak of capturing melancholic glamour, a last dispatch from history’s biggest social media star.
Cleopatra on Instagram would be a feast for the senses, a spectacle of selfies, sages, and saccharine romance that epitomises both the worst & most wondrous of what makes us human, be it across millennia or merely across a modern screen.
