What if Cleopatra had Instagram to charm Rome's elite?

What if Cleopatra had Instagram to charm Rome's elite?

Written by Terry Lawson on April 18, 2025 at 3:22 PM

Picture this: the Nile River shimmering a stunning golden hue as the sun rises, and there stands Queen Cleopatra, capturing the perfect #SunriseSelfie on her latest smartphone, a device bestowed upon her by the techno-gods of imagined realms. Her kohl-lined eyes glint with intrigue as she taps open Instagram, a digital haven where she boasts a profile that would make even the most revered influencers of today green with envy.

Ah, Cleopatra. A queen known for her charm, political acumen, and a love story destined for the ages. But what if, in a twist of tech-fate, she wielded the power of Instagram to navigate the murky waters of Roman politics and courtly intrigue? Could she have used it as effectively as she did her wealth and wit? Let's embark on a whimsical stroll along the streams of digital history and explore how this ancient icon could have capitalised on modern technologies.

From Scroll to Screen: Cleopatra’s Content Strategy

No need for papyrus when one has pixels to play with! Cleopatra’s Instagram would be a tapestry of evocative imagery: scenes of daily life along the Nile, glimpses into her opulent court, and those undeniable portraits of allure that captivated Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, thus merging aesthetics with political strategy.

With stunning backdrops of the Alexandria skyline, she’d post with captions that artfully mix Latin puns with ancient Egyptian proverbs. "Like the Nile, my stories run deep," she might muse under a photo of her reading scrolls in a marble-laden study. And let's not overlook the filtered shots of her feline companions, the revered temple cats. "Meow-narchs of Egypt,” she’d caption, brimming with heady wit and hieroglyphic hashtags.

Influencing the Empire: From Rome with Love

Cleopatra was nothing if not strategic. With her Instagram stories, she’d effortlessly blur the lines between personal charm and diplomatic prowess. A short clip with Caesar on the deck of a Roman galley, hashtagged #RiverSoiree, would set tongues wagging faster than any political missive. In the Stories Highlights, eternalised memories of royal banquets could serve as a subtle reminder of her regal power and social prowess.

Her direct messages would host private negotiations that traditional emissaries could only dream of. Just imagine the emoji-loaded exchanges between her and Antony: "🍇🍷 tonight? Same triclinium? 🏺⚔️😏", a clandestine tête-à-tête punctuated by the whimsy of digital symbols across their shared Roman ambitions.

#CleopatraTrending: The Social Media Storm

Every social media maven knows the importance of trending hashtags, and Cleopatra would be no exception. Her fans, and detractors, would launch a cascade of #QueenOfTheNile posts weaving tales of admiration and scandal alike, sprawling across the Roman and Egyptian digital landscapes. Perhaps she could co-opt the madness of her online presence into social campaigns. “For every like,” she'd declare, “I shall build a new amphora!”, a playful nod to her aspirations of legacy.

And let's not forget the rise of the meme! The digital artisans, or pixel scribes, would rejoice in crafting viral memes that stitch together images of Cleopatra and a certain famous depiction of Engineering Caesar’s salads. The historical interpretations would be both witty and profound: "Breaking hearts and breaking bread since 30 BC," the slogans would read.

When Realities Clash: Limitations of the Gram

Yet, in this fantastical tale lies the paradox of portrayal. With all its power, Instagram remains a platform of perception, not reality. The colour-saturated, glamorously filtered images might win hearts, but the everyday intricacies of Cleopatra’s reign would still rest upon her intelligence, leadership skills, and ultimately, her uncertain political footing between Roman *res publica* and Egyptian sovereignty.

While sharing her world with the Roman Empire's elite, she'd also face accounts set to troll and undo her influence, highlighting that even a queen could be subject to the whims of followers and the relentless scroll of opinion in digital circles. Gone unedited would remain the truth of her complex identity, leader, lover, linguist, and legend of antiquity.

And so, dear readers...

We conclude our time-travelling tête-à-tête with fantasy and facts entangled in the tendrils of a what-if scenario that bridges the ancient past with our digital present. Cleopatra with Instagram? A captivating thought experiment where the hashtag becomes hieroglyph, and every like wields the power of a thousand admirers from the Tiber to the Nile.

Through signed, sealed, and selfie-delivered content, the enigmatic queen could indeed have spun her web of influence far across land and sea, but ultimately, the world's stage would have demanded more than pixels and prose. A timeless reminder that history, much like social media, is in how you craft your story. Until our next imagined journey, keep pondering the what-ifs of history, and remember: in the digital agora of ideas, your imagination is your kingdom.

Terry Lawson
Terry Lawson
Terry is a curious and imaginative writer with a passion for both history and technology. With a flair for humor, wit, and detailed storytelling, Terry paints vivid pictures of how historical figures and events might have unfolded differently if they had access to modern technology.