Everyone knows the story: Isaac Newton is lounging in the orchard, contemplating the mysteries of the universe, when an apple takes a dive onto his unsuspecting head. From this minor fruity assault sprang the laws of motion and the concept of gravitational force, forever fruit-changing, sorry, I meant, life-changing. But let’s take a step through our hypothetical wormhole and imagine a world where Sir Isaac, rather than pondering with quill in hand, had a smartphone in his palm.
The Newton social paradox
First things first, let’s consider Newton's social life (or lack thereof). With a smartphone, our boy Isaac might have been checking Instagram instead of formulating the law of gravitation. Would he have been engrossed by Newtonian mechanics or by Newtonian memes? Imagine this: #gravityisnotjustforapples goes viral, a digital renaissance of apple-related content flooding social media. "An apple a day keeps the forces at bay!"
Instead of letters exchanged through painstaking writing, think of the group chats: "Can you believe what Leibniz said about calculus? #Drama #SpillTheTea.” Newton’s Enigma Group chat might include the likes of Hooke, Halley, and Huygens, all squabbling over the latest scientific gossip. “He stole the bit about optics,” Hooke would type furiously. Emojis might not adequately capture the scientific rivalry, but they'd try.
An app-le a day keeps productivity at bay
The real question remains: Would Newton's smartphone have sped up or slowed down his contributions to science? His famed Principia Mathematica might have first emerged as a series of blog posts, curated to better fit a mobile screen, with clickable links citing his experiments directly to YouTube videos on his channel "Newton’s Novelties." Video titles include “Today’s Experiment: Sliding Down Inclines for SCIENCE!”
These short-form pieces could entice subscribers (a future Patreon maybe?), whilst Isaac keeps them entertained with live "unboxings" of scientific gadgets, explaining complex formulas with simplicity and Panache™. Newton could host live-streamed Q&As where followers type in questions like "Hey Isaac, what gravity ever do for us?" to which Newton responds, "Besides keeping you grounded?"
Newton vs the netizens
Let us not forget the dreaded comments section, a place where Newton would face the arguments of modern-day flat-earthers. Newton, armed with his smartphone and direct internet access, could readily duel, the virtual sword meets the pen kind! His replies might consist of "Have you tried dropping your phone and seeing what happens?” A keen-witted Newton might send them copies of his AR-enabled apple simulations.
Of course, Newton’s smartphone wasn’t just for quelling misconceptions or documenting experiments; it’d be a scientific calculator, a note-taker, and a cloud storage assistant all in one. His phone sprouting endless apps to simulate celestial motions and the occasional game of Candy Crush, he needed some distraction from his monumental intellect.
Would gravity still weigh the same?
One can’t help but muse over the effects of tech-savvy Newton on the scientific community. Mobile Newton might have cultivated even more ideas, or perhaps even a wider fan following. The timeline of scientific development would shift with a collective ping of notifications as Newton live-tweeted his latest theorems straight from his orchard office.
Ultimately, whether or not the gravitational pull of his discoveries would alter, the beauty of it all remains: Newton, with or without a smartphone, was destined to change how we see our universe. But with a smartphone, perhaps in future pubs they’d ask, “Do you follow Newton’s page?” As these alternate reality tales go on, it’s clear: it’s not just anyone who can unlock the secrets of the cosmos; it took a Newton, maybe even a Newton 2.0.
