Ah, Cleopatra. Known for her wit, intelligence, and, of course, irresistible charm, this last pharaoh of Ancient Egypt ruled with a flicker of a bemused eyebrow and a strategic alliance or two. But imagine, if you will, a world where Cleopatra's reign was governed by not just politics and romance, but by hashtags, likes, and selfies. Yes, dear reader, we're diving headlong into the shimmering land of "what-if", where beloved Cleopatra reigns supreme on Instagram.
Sliding into the DMs of Destiny
First things first, you can't rule an empire, or even a fraction of one, without some serious social savvy. In a reality where Cleopatra had access to Instagram, her keen understanding of influence would naturally extend to the digital realm. Cleopatra might have curated an Instagram feed that rivalled even the most fabulous modern influencers. Picture it: artful shots of the Nile at dusk, boomerangs of asp-themed jewellery, and candid snaps of herself lounging regally in a tutu, uh, a tunic.
Her direct messages (DMs) would be a veritable who's-who of ancient power players. Picture Caesar dropping a cheeky "u up?" at 3 AM, or Mark Antony sliding into her DMs with a series of heart-eye emojis after every post. Yes, even divine rulers are subject to the pitfalls (and perils) of blurry, late-night messages.
Hashtags Fit for a Pharaoh
Being the whip-smart monarch she was, Cleopatra would have taken to hashtags like a duck to water. From #CleopatrasNileBeautySecrets to #EmpowermentofEgypt, her social media strategy would weave seamlessly into her political agenda, promoting everything from tourism ("Come for the pyramids, stay for the papyrus") to international relations ("Collabing with Rome: two empires, one love").
The hashtags alone could fuel academic debates for centuries. Each post caption would carry a triple entendre, blending self-promotion with political insight, and of course, a healthy dose of that famous, seductive wit. The world would be her digital oyster, with each clamorous post avidly discussed by followers and diplomats alike.
Insta-Wars in the Ancient 'Gram Arena
Naturally, with Cleopatra's popularity soaring, rivalries would make their dramatic entrances onto the Storied sands. The undercurrents of political tension might manifest themselves into rival accounts, that is, if her adversaries dared face such a formidable presence online. Brutus might launch a reactionary #SorryNotSorry campaign in favour of a republic, while Octavian could champion a hashtag revolution titled #GreatNotToBeExeptional.
But don't sweep Cleopatra's own mastery of propaganda under the digital rug. Her penchant for whipping up public sentiment through dramatic spectacles, think royal entrances and rides down the Nile, would translate effortlessly into viral trends. If Cleopatra played her cards right (with a strategically-timed pyramid selfie), jealousy would be rebranded as admiration: fans hashtagging #CleopatraGoals as they mimicked her signature winged eyeliner.
Filter Battles: Old Meets New Beauty Standards
Let us not forget the baffling beauty standards of today and how they might wreak chaos on Egypt's reigning beauty. Filters you ask? Cleopatra would have no doubt embraced them, blending timeless beauty with the latest in Insta-enhancements. Her selfies in vibrant Egyptian sunsets would appear flawless, thanks to the dedicated attention of whichever filter she favoured that month.
Yet Cleopatra knew her power reached far beyond mere aesthetics. She inspired with timeless elegance and confidence, bantering with followers on the intersection of cosmetics and existentialism, encouraging women to seek not only winged eyeliner perfection, but enlightenment, too.
The End of the Reel
In an alternate universe where Cleopatra ruled from the palm of her hand, Instagram might have been a monarch's most potent tool, but let not those airbrushed thumbnails fool you. Cleopatra would navigate her digital reign with the same cunning sophistication that defined her actual rule. Surely her reign would end not on a tragic note, but rather, "likewise," with Egypt's digital fingerprint firmly marked in history.
And so, with a touch of humour and a balance of insight, we see that Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile, might have traded the asp for an app. In this most Insta-worthy of alternate realities, the rulers of tomorrow are as much influencers of the digital realm as they are of the physical land. Long may she reign in the infinite scroll!
