Ah, Ancient Egypt, the land of the majestic pyramids, feline deities, and more eyeliner than a 1980s rock band. But what if we took this desert-dwelling civilisation and gave its rulers access to the digital age’s most beguiling power source – social media? Imagine, if you will, the Egyptian Pharaohs navigating through apps while still grappling with Nile floods and building stone monstrosities with only chisels and manpower for company. Let's dive into this sandy expedition of speculation and hashtags.
Scrolls and selfies
Imagine the Pharaohs, those glorified demigods, not writing decrees on papyrus but updating their status for their followers as they reclined in their opulent chambers. The power of a few scribbled hieroglyphics could be multiplied a thousandfold with a single Instagram post. Would the Pharaohs invest more in the construction of hashtags rather than the weighty limestone blocks? #BuildingTheFuture #PharaonicFame
The well-groomed Pharaohs would, no doubt, excel in the art of the selfie. They're already halfway there with their impressive profiles struck firmly on monuments and tombs. With modern filters at their fingertips, we could expect Ramses II, for instance, to post a pic captioned "Pyramid goals!" as he stands magnanimous against the newly minted Pyramid of Ramses – possibly sporting a trendy crown of laurels, courtesy of Photoshop's finer touches.
Tweet like an Egyptian
In a world where glyphs could be sent flying across pixelated landscapes at lightning speed, consider how Pharaohs might have wielded Twitter. Would their 280-character musings provide philosophical insights into the value of the afterlife, or might their "streams" bog down into discussions of all things feline? "Cats = Sacred Creatures 🙏 Bigger blessings to the furry ones! 😺" might be a typical mid-day tweet from a furry-friendly Pharaoh.
And let's not forget the power of the viral tweet. With a tweet trending faster than an Egyptian sunset, inter-dynastic politics could have been more streamlined – or perhaps disastrously disrupted.
