Ah, the Middle Ages, a time when knights were bold and buboes beamed. And what better way to imagine it than if TikTok were the social media of choice during one of the most calamitous plagues in history: the Black Death. Picture if you will, a 14th-century landscape where dance challenges compete with survival tips, and the Grim Reaper himself might make a cameo in your notifications feed. Welcome to a timeline that’s literally infected,
The Only Viral Content You Didn’t Want
The Black Death, notorious for wiping out a staggering percentage of Europe's population in the mid-1300s, was arguably the original viral phenomenon, just not the sort you'd want. Imagine, if you will, TikTokers lamenting the shortage of gamers' plague masks or medieval influencers rocking the latest in leech fashion. In such times, the hashtag #PlagueLyfe would have been trending alongside an ever-spiralling count of "sick" content.
Quarantine, but Make it Fashion
To keep spirits high, or at least moderately entertained, medieval influences might be pumping out short clips on quarantine chic: “How to make sackcloth fabulous in three easy steps” or “Beginner's guide to accessorising with rope belts.” While your social life might suffer, your wardrobe doesn't have to.
Doctors with Dance Moves
Imagine plague doctors offering a "Plague Prevention Shuffle" tutorial to keep both your spirits and your antibodies up. Dressed in their ominous bird-like masks, they’d be the TikTok stars of their day, demonstrating the latest dance health tips set to a jaunty lute remix. "Side-step, side-step, wear a mask and don't fetch a cold!"
Confessions of a 14-Year-Old Luddite
Of course, young medievalists may have also found TikTok a place to rebel against the technology itself. Consider TikTok user @YeOldeLuddite posting clips ranting about how all this "modern tech" was disrupting the sacred art of whittling or complaining how doves would finally be out of date due to swift online messaging.
The Bubonic Blend: Comedic & Catastrophic Collabs
You might even see collaborations between priests and alchemists seeking the ultimate #QuicksilverChallenge, as theologians challenged the philosophical ramifications of God’s latest trial with the classic line, "U just gotta believe fam!" Commentators might even pull out the classic Dad joke: “Every plague doctor’s motto? ‘I’m here until I die-agnosis.’”
The Different Types of Influencers
While this particular catastrophe spread doom and gloom, TikTok would provide a platform for some unique personalities. Meet the #BubonicBeauties, a group dedicated to transforming pustules into picassos with nothing but crushed beetles and a sprinkle of powdered lead. Entertain yourself with the continued adventures of the #PilgrimPranker, whose latest gag is replacing indulgence chips with straight-up IOUs, and the #ToastIsLate, medieval TikTok is nothing if not filled with innuendo.
Shaping History, with a 60-Second Limitation
What impact might this digital deluge have had on interpreting the Black Death? Perhaps there’d have been an earlier discovery of penicillin through massive science collabs, leading to videos like “Does this fungus cure all ills? 🤯🇬🇳.” What other realities could have formed in a world digitally united by its past?
Or perhaps, centuries later, scholars might have analysed this curious juxtaposition for its insight into how societies face crises with creativity, community, and a bizarre yet unifying sense of humour. TikTok could have fit right in with evolving human history, influencing art, music, and coping mechanisms to survive everything from pestilence to parody.
Conclusion: The Good, the Bad, and the Grim Reapers
Modern technological marvels have revolutionised how we connect, communicate, and indeed, cope with crises. So what might we learn from picturing a TikTok-tinged past? Besides enjoying a clever chuckle at picturing plague dances, we’re reminded of the power of shared experiences. In times of crisis, no matter how somber, there’s a light-hearted need for hope, humour, and a touch of humanity, and maybe even a silly dance or two.
And so, dear reader, as you ponder the strange spectacle of TikTok in the time of the Black Death, remember the battle cry of that medieval era gone digital: “Who cares if the humour’s lowbrow? Life’s too short and so are the videos!”
