Picture this: it’s 30 BCE and a rather well-known Egyptian queen, synonymous with charisma and political strategy, decides to swipe her kohl-rimmed eyes to life with the knack for hashtags and filters. Yes, I’m talking about none other than Cleopatra VII, the last active ruler of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt. Now, what if this iconic seductress had access to today’s most popular social media platform, Instagram?
The Original Influencer
Forget Kylie Jenner and her lip kits, Cleopatra would have trumped them all. She had the Nile at her fingertips, after all; her influence knew no bounds even back then. Her profile picture? A perfectly angled selfie with a hint of the pyramids in the background, captured at sunset to catch those perfect, golden hour vibes. Her bio? "Queen, Diplomat, Fashionista. Always ruling & rocking kohl #QueenOfTheNile."
In no time, her follower count would rival the population of Rome (and perhaps a few future provinces), each of her posts a testament to her penchant for captivating storytelling and eye for aesthetic detail. Just imagine her timeline: a sultry selfie here, a reel of a lavish feast with Marc Antony there, and maybe an occasional throwback to those stunning pearly Cleopatra coins. After all, luxury isn’t a trend when you invented it.
Instagram Stories... Straight from the Sphinx
Now, Cleopatra wasn't just about flaunting her looks – though she did that quite spectacularly. Instagram Stories would serve as more than just a visual diary; they’d be a battle strategy manifest. Imagine a Story highlight reel titled "Convincing Caesar," featuring her iconic entrance rolled up in a rug, or another collection aptly named "Antony's Armour," showcasing their extravagant love affairs and strategic plans, encrypted neatly into a 15-second clip.
And let's not forget her Live sessions! "Queen's Q&A" would be packed with viewers: "How do you get your eyeliner so flawless, Cleo?" or "Thoughts on Julius? #TeaWithCleo" Everyone would tune in for updates on her latest campaigns or partnerships – though instead of brand deals and sponsored posts, it’d be trade agreements and alliances.
Hashtags and Heartbreaks
#ThrowbackThursday would see Cleopatra reminiscing about frolics down the Nile, as she’d allure her Roman counterparts with #EgyptianWaves. Her DMs would be flooded with dignitaries and admirers vying for her attention, maybe even a ‘hey, u up?’ from Julius Caesar. Ah, the algorithms of ancient romance! But Cleopatra would know the power of a well-placed hashtag: #LoveInTheNile, #AmourEtAnubis, perhaps?
But, what happens when the rulers clash, and the world she curated starts to crumble? Would the un-follows match the political betrayals? If anyone could redefine a break-up post, it’d be our Egyptian queen. "Sailing off into the sunset, but Marc's not on the passenger list 🌅 #TearsOnTheTiber" with a poignant caption to drown in the hearts of her followers.
The Legacy in Likes
Cleopatra famously said, "Death will be a great relief. No more interviews." With Instagram, she’d orchestrate her presence long after she left the world stage, her curated feed eternal. Each statue and bust, a recorded reel for infinity; each epic tale, a captioned chronicle.
Her final post? Perhaps a serene snap aboard her barge, hieroglyphics replaced by hashtags, "Long live the Queen, in history and heart #ForeverUnfurlingTheNile." In this alternate realm, Cleopatra wouldn't just be a character studied in history, but a digital deity still worshiped with clicks and scrolls.
