In the grand parade of history, there are few figures quite as larger-than-life as Alexander the Great. Picture it: a young warrior, with charisma enough to light up a city, determination welded to an iron will, and ambitions bigger than a holiday meal's leftovers. Now, imagine him equipped with one of today's most ubiquitous tools, Instagram! What would his reign impact if he had this platform at his disposal? Spoiler: it involves more #Legendary than even the History Channel could muster.
Alexander: The Influencer
Alexander the Great was many things: a king, a military genius, a man with a penchant for naming cities after himself. But add ‘influencer’ to the list, and now we’re talking about a different kind of conquest. With Instagram’s capacity for connection and face-to-face (or rather, face-to-scroll) engagement, Alexander could broadcast his every achievement in sparkling detail.
Imagine his early posts, "Setting off from Macedonia today! Just a young king with a dream and an army. #ConquestGoals.” (Strikes pose with sword) Or, a heart-warming story highlighting a post-battle kitten rescue with the tag #IAmPersian, showcasing both his softer side and new Persian besties.
And then there’s the self-promotion. Gone would be days spent dispatching messenger pigeons and relying on precarious word of mouth. Instead, the instant sharing of his wins: "Today, Gaugamela. Tomorrow, the world. #SlayerOfDarius.” Followed by a joyful boomerang of his cavalry charge, obligatory Camel Shelves photo complete with pout and perfect light.
Expanding the Empire, One Selfie at a Time
Alexander’s Instagram wouldn’t just be a personal hype machine, it’d be a map of his expanding dominion. Each conquest carefully curated and geotagged: "Just checked in at Babylon - room with a view!” Posts could highlight local culture with a shout-out to local artisans: "Love these Persian tapestries! So @BohoChic, don’t you think? #InteriorDesignKing.”
He might've turned his infamous war elephant rides into delightful travel vlogs, encouraging others to broaden their horizons and see the world (though perhaps without the same level of fiery zeal). Of course, his tenacity for progress may have been criticised with comments like, "Don't you think you should slow down, Alexa?” But, feedback and follower interaction are crucial parts of the social media journey, and no doubt, he’d navigate them with wit: "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my army's thousand-foot march. #KingMode.”
The Diplomacy of DMs
Diplomacy through the ancient world’s labyrinthine politics could be fast-tracked with a DM here or a uniquely filtered landscape shot there. Trade discussions would thrive, complete with polls: "Should we add India to our #Marketplace? Comment below! ✅ for yes, ❌ for no.” His direct messages would positively buzz with international envoys offering tributes, partnership requests, and probably a few unsolicited start-up pitches.
And as for the tense politics with the Greeks? Well, a thorough series of IG stories with Greeks, featuring heartwarming reunions set to a jaunty lyre track, could go viral faster than you can say "Hellenistic." Maybe there’d even be an annual live Q&A titled #AskAlex, a great forum to demystify his strategic intents or, simply gossip.
The Epilogue: Hashtag Hellenism
Alas, with celebrity status and social media stardom often comes controversies. An epic like his wouldn’t be complete without a few hashtag scandals, think #ConquerNothingism spearheaded by his less-frequent-flyer detractors or #Tradegy during those campaign mishaps. His publicists (or perhaps Plato's ghost as social strategist) would have had their hands full.
But perhaps the greatest impact of this hypothetical historical Instagram handle would be the cultural fusion now historically known as Hellenism, further catalysed by Alexander's DNA-level understanding of branding. Who wouldn't want to buy into a world where cultures mingled so freely and vibrantly? A place as colourful and engaging as his own social media posts promised.
In an era where armies move with the shuffle of newsfeeds, and emperors reign with the flair of a selfie stick, Alexander the Great might’ve had a platform where legends and likes mingled, resulting in an entirely modern style of imperial reach: If he had reached further than history dared?”
