Picture, if you will, the year 1837. A fresh-faced, newly-crowned 18-year-old Queen Victoria is about to embark on what would become the longest reign of any British monarch at the time. Now, let's throw a modern spanner into the works; let's give Queen Victoria a smartphone, and more specifically, an Instagram account. Hold onto your top hats and prepare for a royal flush of hilarity as we delve into this bonkers alt-reality.
Her Majesty, the Influencer
Queen Victoria, the original "Empress of Everything", had an image to maintain. A plum gig, if ever there was one, ruling over a realm so vast that the sun literally never set on it. But an Instagram influencer? Surely a step up, eh? Just imagine those #OOTD (Outfit of the Day) posts, each decked out in regalia so intensely embroidered it might have even caused Karl Lagerfeld to faint in awe.
Hashtags: #QueenVibes #RegalGoals #EmpireStrikesSnap.
Scandal in the Palace
Ah, the age-old battle of the monarchy: maintain a squeaky-clean image while living in the goldfish bowl of public life. Instagram would've turned royal privacy on its head, considering the platform is a notorious petri dish for scandals. Take the genuine hullabaloo about the "will-they-won’t-they” romance between Victoria and her first cousin Prince Albert. Dramatic and Dickensian! On Instagram? A documented soap opera.
Accounts such as @BertieLuvsVic would have sent paparazzi scrambling for a scoop while royal correspondents furiously scribbled down captions, "His & Hubby," alongside intimate snaps of the pair enhancing diplomatic relations on a picnic blanket under a French chateau’s shadow.
The Royal Family Filter
Let's not forget the Queen's earnest diary entries, which, thanks to the miracle of "Share to My Story", could've gone from personal musings to public consumption faster than you can say "tea and crumpets." Imagine breathless followers hanging onto every Story update as Victoria chronicles her morning tea, afternoon audiences, and evening social events, all with the trendy filters of the time. My personal bet? The Pale Dawn filter would be royally apposite, a gently drizzled London affair.
"Would You Kindly Like And Subscribe?"
Queen Victoria's ceremonial openings of Parliament would have become influencers' RSVPs of the season. Always one to propel Britain forward, like a well-manicured massive steam engine, it's not hard to imagine her hopping on Instagram Live for a bit of interactive governance. "Comment below, dear subjects! What do you think of the new Reform Bill? Yay or nay? Also, please subscribe to @TheBritishCrown for exclusive behind-the-scenes content."
Britain at the Front of Instagram
And what of her immense influence overseas, I hear you ask? Using the platform, Queen Victoria could've posted updates not only for Britain but for her sprawling empire. Picture dispatches: "Just conquered India again. Loving the wallpaper vibes! #EmpireStateOfMind." A delightful, if not slightly eyebrow-raising, blend of the anachronistic with modern modes of expression.
This could well have transformed history’s view of this "Grandmother of Europe", Imagine the plethora of Victoria-inspired "grams" influencing decor, fashion, and diplomatic trends. The industrial power and prowess of Britain magnified onto screens worldwide.
The Merry-Go-Windsor of Influence
Of course, history shows Victoria was ardently dedicated to her family, particularly after Albert's untimely death. Would love for her family have translated to doting posts of her chubby-cheeked descendants? Entire accounts could've been dedicated to the young princes and princesses; and genteel family-driven brands bustling to sponsor "Ah, Prince Arthur brand bubble bath, so good Her Majesty approved!"
And, for the pièce de résistance, the mourning period, whether mass unfollowings or post-blackout within the app, would mark historical events unto themselves, though the spritely "Instagram throwback" would bring back beloved memories (and, perchance, dance-offs in the ballroom with Albert).
In conclusion, Queen Victoria's reign via Instagram reflects a whimsical yet captivating snapshot of how two epochs clash in a kaleidoscope of imagined socials. Would Her Majesty have posted pets in regalia? Hosted Snapchat tea parties? Only the annals in the ether would tell, my dear readers. Until next time, stay curious and may your kneecaps always be free of corgis!
