Oh, dear reader, gather 'round as we journey back to the opulent courts of 18th-century France, where the scent of powdered wigs mingles with the delicate aroma of macaron. Our subject of interest? None other than the infamous Marie Antoinette, she of the ill-fated remark about cake. But today, we dare to meddle with history in the most delightful way, what if the queen of Versailles had unfettered access to Instagram?
Picture, if you will, a world where the Palace of Versailles isn't just a symbol of royal excess and gilded decadence. No, mon ami, it's a constant flurry of photo shoots and selfies, as Marie Antoinette masters the art of the perfect flat lay with sceptres and tiaras.
Instagram: The New Courtly Affair
Let's begin with the essentials. Marie, ever the trendsetter, rebrands herself as @LetThemEatCake. Her Instagram bio? "Queen of France 🇫🇷 | Expert in Fashion, Feasts & Fripperies. #QueenLife #CakeEveryday." Her daily posts offer a feast for the eyes, each more lavish than the last, with captions infused with hashtags like #ThisIsTheNewRevolution and #GildedGoals.
"Living my best life at the Petit Trianon," she might caption, posing amidst her sprawling personal domain, carefully curated to juxtapose rustic charm with royal elegance. And oh, the cake! Her feed is an endless carousel of pastries and confectionary delights, each more extravagant than its predecessor. Forget food porn; this was food Rococo.
Let Them Eat… Comments?
Of course, social media engagement could never be one-sided. The people of France, long suffering under the weight of economic struggle, might find the unchecked display of affluence gaudy, if not outright provocative. A humble peasant, known digitally as @GallicFarmer83, comments, "Wish it rained bread the way it rains in Versailles 😂 #RevolutionResolutions."
Undeterred, Marie wields wit as a weapon. "After the bread, Monsieur? Why, there's always cake!" she replies, her words a playful jibe at the now-popular misinterpretation of her infamous line.
Going Viral: The Hashtag Revolution
Now, suppose the echoes of discontent or the organised rallies of dissent could be catapulted into the spotlight with a simple hashtag: #ViveLaRevolution. The storytelling of the French populace might have unfolded differently, with a digital revolution taking shape in parallel with the physical one.
Marie’s rivals, such as Mirabeau and Robespierre, crafty bourgeois by nature, might harness their inner influencers. @TheRevolutionDs and @MaxRegicide post instigating infographics and persuasive tags like #TearDownTheTiaras. Their follower counts would soar as they gather momentum, advocating for a more equal distribution of not only wealth but Wi-Fi.
The Influencers' Ball
Marie Antoinette, aware of her dwindling influence among the chic Parisians and peasants alike, hosts an extravagant "Influencers' Ball" at Versailles, a strategic PR move with the finesse of centuries-long diplomacy. Royalty rubs elbows with the upstart influencer elite, garbing themselves in finery enriched by silver filters and VSCO cam presets.
As her guests engage in the most ostentatious of meet-cutes, trading amuses-bouches and Instagram handles, Marie remains at the heart of it all, serving both as a hostess and a consummate content creator. "Tonight's bun coiffure brought to you by @ParisiansPerfections. Don't lose your head over elegance!" she narrates into her phone's camera.
The Cautionary Tale of #InstaCourtney
Our journey must inevitably lead to why Instagram might be both boon and bane to the French monarchy. Marie's digital empire rests on fragile foundation as the winds of revolution gain strength, captured in every exposé and shared meme. Versailles, though impenetrable in stone, is decidedly vulnerable to the digital siege. Screenshots of lavish banquets juxtaposed against the bread lines stir whispers of discord wider than any Paris street.
Reflecting on this alternate history, it is tempting to hypothesise that Marie’s fate would not be much altered. Summing it up perhaps, "Let them have Wi-Fi," if you will, may change the narrative landscape, but it’s unlikely to stop the tides of time.
Thus ends our whimsical voyage through the annals of alternate history, where modern technology meets powdered periwigs and hashtags are the messenger pigeons of the future. We bid adieu to Marie Antoinette, eternal queen of cake and all things chocolat. Long may her selfies reign!
