The sun was setting over Alexandria, casting a golden hue over the grandiose Library that once housed the wisdom of the ages. If only Cleopatra, the last Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt, had a mobile phone at her gilded fingertips, history might have taken a whole different scroll! In this whimsical dive into alternate history, we'll explore the intriguingly social world of Cleopatra on Instagram and the power of a selfie.
The Social Sphynxster!
Picture this: Cleopatra's perfectly winged eyeliner (rumour has it she started the trend) catching the light just right as she positions her phone. She pouts, conscious that one good selfie could sway not just the hearts of her Roman lovers but entire nations. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the original social media influencer, Cleopatragram!
In this new, digital dawn, Cleopatra wouldn't waste time sending fleets to meet foreign emissaries. Instead, she’d leverage the power of an Instagram story. An elegant picture of her lounging on her barge, a glass of wine in hand, captioned: "Navigating more than just the Nile tonight...#QueenOfTheRiver" would be enough to spark the intrigue of any ruler, from Augustus to Antony.
When Caesar Slid into Her DMs
Imagine Cleopatra and Julius Caesar's first meeting documented not on papyrus, but through direct messages. Caesar's opening line may have been, "Veni, vidi, double-tapped,” as he swiftly slid into Cleopatra's DMs after liking every photo from her recent visit to the Sphinx.
Cleopatra’s influence wasn't merely strategic; it was visually compelling. Her posts, a mixture of adorable pet sphinx cats and ancient beauty rituals, with captions like "Sphinx and chill?" gathered great traction amongst her growing followers. Her followers (or "ancients") weren't only passive onlookers but potential allies in her geopolitically charged landscape.
The Hashtag Hieroglyphics
Even the hieroglyphics would need a modern update. Think emojis, an economy of symbols understood by people worldwide. Cleopatra could harness hashtags like #PharaohLife, #GoddessVibes, and the ever-popular #ThrowbackThursdays (or for a good ancient pun, #TogaTuesdays) to spread her message far beyond the banks of the Nile.
Sharing glamorous images from her court and scenic shots of the Pyramids, she'd surely secure a sponsorship deal from the latest line of kohl eyeliner or a global tourism campaign: "Visit Egypt, where history feels like a story and every grain of sand tells a tale." A contest for "best tu-tank Instagrammable spot" could have gone viral across the empire.
Stories Fit For a Queen
Instagram Stories would be Cleopatra's medium for crafting public opinion. Her story highlights could include segments like "Royal Gossip," "Diplomatic Drama," or "Beauty Secrets of the Nile." These would provide insight into the seemingly effortless charisma she was famed for, with instructional videos on shaping kohl eyeliner wings sharp enough to cut the tension in a Roman Senate meeting.
And who could resist watching Cleopatra's "Live" as she spoke directly to her great audience across the known world, the common folk and dignitaries alike, answering questions on state affairs while casually adding, "Sphinx saw it first, now you do too!"
The Grand Finale: Selfies with Substance
Ultimately, Instagram would have been Cleopatra's oracle, a device of foresight and persuasion. A well-timed selfie, perhaps taken with the crashing waves of the Mediterranean in the background, captioned, "Joining forces with the West!" could have replaced fierce diplomatic negotiations and launched alliances without a single dispatch fastened to a pigeon's leg.
In this parallel universe where Cleopatra wielded not only the ceremonial crook and flail but the influence of a digital presence, maybe Antony wouldn't have just lost himself in her brilliance; he might have found a clever tag to charmingly caption his undying love.
Ah, history and technology... sometimes, they’re just a filter away from a magical mashup.
